Heights

We drove the final leg of our way home yesterday. On the way we stopped at Crater Lake in southern Oregon for a hike. If you're unfamiliar, it's the deepest lake in the United States, made from a dormant volcano. In order to get there, you have to drive up the rim, which includes going on some pretty narrow switchbacks with no barriers and steep dropoffs.

I am not a fan of heights and got a little queasy with sweaty palms. I actually ended up pulling over and let Melissa drive. Acrophobia doesn't have a specific cause. It could be from a traumatic event, poor balance, or inherited from a guardian. I wouldn't say I'm completely immobilized. I can ride roller coasters and go to the top of tall buildings. I just get a little anxious. Even video games can trigger it.

The treatment is cognitive behavior therapy and exposure therapy. In other words, facing your fears. Fear is defined as "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." I want to look at fear in terms of justification. Are some fears justified and are some unjustified?

All fear seems to have a root of truth. In the case of heights for me, it's true that falling from a high place would cause pain. But the likelihood of that occurring is not always true. It was very unlikely our car would have slipped off the road. But our limbic system isn't rational enough to take likelihood into account. It merely senses danger and triggers the flight, fight or freeze response.

I asked ChatGPT for a formal definition of flipping our lid, or having our limbic system take control of our thinking.

...it refers to a moment when the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, decision-making, and self-control) is overwhelmed by the amygdala (the part of the brain involved in emotional responses, especially fear and anger). In this state, the prefrontal cortex's regulatory functions are bypassed, leading to impulsive and emotionally driven reactions.

Emotions are an important and real part of being human. They have an impact on our lives, whether we want them to or not. The key is how we want them to impact us. Suppressing emotions can negatively impact mental and physical health, and lead to interpersonal conflict. Emotions need to felt and expressed.

My therapist uses the analogy of a car ride. Your emotions are like passengers. If they aren't allowed to speak when they have something to say, they're going to make the trip miserable. It's important that they share their perspective. But that doesn't mean you hand them the keys. They can be in the car, but they don't need to control the car.

This is why therapy is a useful tool. It creates a safe environment where emotions can be expressed and examined by both you and your therapist. You can uncover the secrets your emotions are trying to tell you and grow as a person. Therapy helps put motion into the emotion. It can be felt, then rationally inspected to assess what actions need to be taken. We let our inner child speak, then comfort it with the wise part of us.

I plan on discussing my fear of heights with my therapist the next time I see her to see if I need to face my fears. I may never be fully comfortable with heights, but maybe I can take some of the anxiousness out of it.