Walking Each Other Home

People likes big things. Especially in America. Everything has to be on fire and dialed to 11. Our self-help books talk about dreaming big and accomplishing great things. When I was in church, pastors always talked about winning souls to Jesus. "Don't be a thermometer - be a thermostat" was one of their favorite sayings.

In all this bigness, I wonder how many stop to ask why. Why do I need to do great things? Creativity? Ego? Self-image? Reinforcing my importance in the world? Maybe there's a missing piece inside of us and we think doing things will fill it up.

When I left the church, a huge part of my life's purpose disappeared. I thought I needed to save people from hell and get them into our organization. When I stopped believing in the hell I was raised with and saw proselytizing as a marketing campaign to grow the business, I was left with a hole. What's more important than saving a person from eternal suffering? Not much compares to that level of importance.

So I was floating without a direction. There are many people like me dealing with shattered world views. Some of my fellow deconstructionists poured all their attention into fighting against the system they came from. They moved from being fundamentalist Christians to a different kind of fundamentalist. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to continue being an activist. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Activism removes subtly with slogans. We stop thinking critically and just follow the crowd and raw animal instinct. Right after leaving church, I needed space to vent and express my frustration and hurt. And I found it with online communities, trusted friends and family, and my therapist. I also was reading wisdom literature, including Stoic authors. They helped me internalize the idea that the only thing I have under my control is not life's events, but my response to life's events. I needed to spend time thinking and feeling, looking at the inner monolog I was speaking.

I think the divine doesn't shout. It whispers. And we can only hear it when we quiet down and become still. The secret to contentment and peace is being able to rise above the drama of the world. And this only happens by pulling away. Not necessarily disavowing society and becoming a hermit, but taking time to be alone with one's thoughts. The world's drama hypnotizes us into urgency and fear. If we can undo the spell, we are in a wiser position to shape the world around us.

Sufi poet Rumi states, "We are all just walking each other home." I don't have a savior complex anymore as I don't think the world needs saving. Everything is happening as it should. The story is being told, with all its twists and turns. All I want to do is remember my way home, confident in the knowledge that no one stays lost forever to the drama. Eventually, we all come back.

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